Every Breath You Take… Every Move You Make…

imagesT4MNU6SL

Meet overly attached girlfriend.

overlyattached boyfriend

And overly attached boyfriend.

When a relationship ends, it can be tough. This is especially true if you’re still Facebook friends with your ex, and you get to see photos of them, and all the fun they are having (without you) day in and day out. It tends to make some people a little… crazy.

Over the weekend I had on Pandora, as I’m in the process of creating an early 80’s playlist. We had a long drive down to Zoe’s soccer game, so I got a chance to thumbs up and thumbs down several songs.

It’s funny how you can hear songs over and over for many years and never stop to think about what it’s really saying. Then one day, you catch a phrase and say to yourself, “Whoa. Wait… did that just say what I think it said?”

It did.

For some reason I got a string of songs that made me realize, there are a lot of creepy people out there making music. And even more frightening- these songs became POPULAR!

Maybe it was a thing in the 80’s to be open about your stalking. Maybe it was a trend and I just didn’t realize it until now. At least these days most stalking is done online, from the comfort of their living room. They aren’t having to skulk around in their obsession’s back yard.

They can snuggle up on their couch with a blanket and a cup of hot coffee with their laptop in front of them. All that they would need is a nice musical soundtrack for their creepy activities.

So after thinking about it for a couple days, I have compiled my playlist for the creepers and stalkers out there. I’m not saying the songs aren’t catchy.  I know and have been mindlessly singing the lyrics for 30 years. But I’m pretty sure I will never hear them the same way again…

“One Way or another. I’m gonna find ya. I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha…”- Blondie (And One Direction)

“Every breath you take… Every move you make… Every bond you break, every step you take, I’ll be watching you.”

“I will have you, yes I will have you. I will find a way and I will have you. Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly, I will collect you and capture you.”

“I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I’d love you to love me. I’m begging you to beg me.”

” “Cause I wonder where you are and I wonder what you do…” Bonus points for stalking a blind woman go to Lionel Ritchie.

“Never gonna stop, give it up
Such a dirty mind, always get it up
For the touch of the younger kind”

Eww.

And while we’re on the subject of “the younger kind…”

“I will be your father figure, put your tiny hand in mine. ”

“(You belong to me)
Tell her, tell her you were foolin’
(You belong to me)
You don’t even know her
(You belong to me)
Tell her that I love you
(You belong to me)”

“Stalked in the forest too close to hide
I’ll be upon you by the moonlight side

High blood Drumming on your skin it’s so tight
You feel my heat I’m just a moment behind

In touch with the ground
I’m on the hunt I’m after you
Scent and a sound. I’m lost and I’m found
And I’m hungry like the wolf.
Strut on a line it’s discord and rhyme
I howl and I whine I’m after you
Mouth is alive all running inside
And I’m hungry like the wolf. ”

But it wasn’t limited to the 80’s…

“She’s running out again,
She’s running,
She runs runs runs runs…
Runs…

But I’m a creep,
I’m a weirdo”

And I shall close with the creepiest creeper of all time… Morrissey

“The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You’re wasting your time
The more you ignore me
The closer i get
You’re wasting your time

I will be
In the bar
With my head
On the bar
I am now
A central part
Of your mind’s landscape
Whether you care
Or do not
Yeah, i’ve made up your mind

The more you ignore me
The closer i get
You’re wasting your time
The more you ignore me
The closer i get
You’re wasting your time

Beware !
I bear more grudges
Than lonely high court judges
When you sleep
I will creep
Into your thoughts
Like a bad debt
That you can’t pay
Take the easy way
And give in
Yeah, and let me in
Oh, let me in
Oh let me …
Oh, let me in”

Of course, knowing Morrissey, he was probably singing to himself.

sloth