Dear Diary,


Day 5 in the jungle. The natives are getting restless. Last night there was a full-blown scuffle involving Zoe, Parker and a dinosaur.

We haven’t seen Sydney for days. We think she either ran away or has been kidnapped by a neighboring tribe.  Tuesday night the rains came, and she had left all the windows and the sunroof open in her car. She should know better. Any sort of creature, especially a snake, could have gotten inside.

We can see where the food is but cannot navigate the treacherous obstacles to get there.


You would think under the intense heat and moisture, and the lack of accessibility to food, I would be wasting away. Unfortunately, that does not appear to be the case.

Last night we ventured into a neighboring village for tacos and s’mores. This village was cooler and less muggy. We spotted a wild animal stealing a s’more before making a fast getaway.

image Very frustrating that you can never get a clear shot of these things, so no one ever believes they really exist.

We’re losing track of time.

Me:is it Friday? What day is it?
Parker: I don’t know. Yesterday was Wednesday.
Our camp has gotten a little messy. No one seems to feel the need to try. Parker has been holed up in the playroom surrounded by colorful creatures I never imagined existed (and sometimes wish didn’t).
Zoe has been able to find fresh water twice this week to swim in. Nathan is in serious need of a shower, and Parker needs a bath. No 7 year old’s armpits should smell like a grown man who has just chopped down a giant sycamore tree with a hatchet.
I was able to make coffee this morning, but it’s too hot to drink it, and we have no ice. Isn’t that what they call an O. Henry irony? No, maybe more like an Alanis Morissette irony.
We lost one of our party this week to the heat. Carnival goldfish #2 simmered in his own bowl. As I said that day, probably an environment that ripens green bananas in 45 minutes isn’t great for a goldfish. We had a small ceremony for her. I said a few words, Zoe and Parker fought over who got to flush her, Parker took matters into his own hands (literally) and Zoe ran off crying.  RIP Carnival Goldfish #2.
Zoe just crawled into the room begging me to take her over the hill to the village IHOP for breakfast. She has beads of perspiration on her forehead and her cheeks are flushed. The workers came today and sealed off the kitchen and pantry with plastic tarps that have zippers. Before it was sealed off Parker and Nathan managed to acquire a mostly empty box of fruit loops and half a bag of goldfish crackers. Looks like IHOP it is.
And if you hear a Tarzan-like cry coming from our house, please just try to ignore it. You really don’t want to know.